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CrazyNBeautful
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Name: Danielle Rose
Birthday: 2/16/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: AKA THINGS I LIKE: I love him, writing, poetry, late night ice cream, novels, romance, Howie Day, Alanis Morissette, Maroon 5, Gwen, the pumpkin patch, coloring, babies, Dirty Dancing(both the movie and the action), my family, baseball, the zoo, shoe shopping, tanning, watching show choir, acting, drama, ITS, singing in the shower, hopskotch, my bed, sleeping, fluffy pillows, not exercising, eating, cows, batman, comics, photography, astronomy, bacon, rice crispy treats, hot dogs, CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY (HOTTY!), and being in love with him even thought my heart is broken.
Expertise: I'm not really an expert... but I know that love is the slowest form of suicide. Always tell people how you feel about them. If you tell them, it may break your heart, but by saying nothing you might break theirs. Being in love is only bad when it is over and your heart breaks.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Crazynbeautful3
Member Since:
8/19/2004
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| This is my farewell to xanga...
i know it's terribly sad to see me go... because so many people still look at this. If you want you can drop in on me at Myspace... http://www.myspace.com/ithinkimgoingcrazy
Well here is a little update...
I am happy! I am finally happy again. I love life again and I am enjoying every moment of it. I love all my new friends and still love the old... I see them from time to time but I have moved on with my life and I'm trying hard not to look back. I know that sounds bad and my friends probably hate me but everyone is starting to fall apart. Everyone went away for school and I had to make new friends and I did. I dunno I still love you guys and we need to hang out so call me and I'm sorry I don't call you. I have been so busy with working full time at the day care and staying part time at payless. I dunno but yeah I jsut wanted to say goodbye to xanga... and I love you all. And I'm just so damn happy to be happy again.
-thank you for letting me go | | |
| I hate the way I still feel I need you here. I know things are better this way, but I can't help it I miss you. I want to badly to stay this strong and have you come back to me. Thoughts of you just remind me that I am alone I hate you today and I will hate you tomorrow. I hate you so much that I'm over you. I'm doing whatever it takes to get over you. MAKE IT GO AWAY! I don't want to feel this pain anymore. How could you do this to me? I know I hurt you but you hurt me too, incase you weren't aware. I need to hear you say you love me. I need to hold your hand and hear your heart beat. I need the comfort of your arms and the taste of your kiss. But I want to look at you and feel nothing. Just like you feel nothing when you look at me. I close my eyes to see you and when I open them you're gone. I'm fading into dreams of you. You left me alone with a broken heart and your mess to clean up. You really don't know what you have until you lose it. but how can you lose something you didn't really have? I'm tired of waiting and debating on telling you I'm through with you but I can't because you already said it. Where did you go? What happened to my baby? I'm sick of hating you. When you come back I wont be here. I wont be able to make it through another one of your episodes, you wear me out. But everything with us is just misery. I can't love you anymore so why do I? I want to be strong. What should I tell my heart? That its hopeless and dissappointing? How can I not love you anymore? Hearts just don't quit. So I'm pretending its actually over. But all that plays in my head is our stupid love song. Sing to me please... calm my nerves. I wanted to be the one to say goodbye. I don't want to cry anymore. Do you feel bad that you don't feel bad this time? Then I start to think about how I hate you today and I'll hate you tomorrow for everything you didn't and don't do. I hate how I think about you and sometimes you're close enough to touch. I miss you a little too much and a little more everyday. Time is suppose to heal this but every night gets more lonely. Did you ever think that maybe it wasn't all my fault? No it was always my fault. Maybe I should have been smarter a long time ago. I never knew I could hurt this bad. So I try to breath and think of something better but better was kissing you in the rain. Better was everynight we spent having indoor picnics, watching Disney movies, throwing popcorn, and watching your christmas lights. Don't you see? Our happieness, smiles, laughs, and good times out number the bad and the tears. That why I always forgave you right away. I need to know how you do it. How you just forget about us and not miss me at all. How do you just forget about someone you told you were in love with them? I want you and I feel you like an illness or hunger. I'm not sorry that I love you. I'm dying inside. Why can't I just be good enough? I changed my ways. I'm getting better. Why wont you just be with me? Now I have nothing to believe in. I believed in you... in us. We were suppose to make it. Our love was suppose to win. I don't want to quit. I can't just give up like you are. I'm going crazy. You might as well take whats left ot me. You already have the rest. I can't just forget what it feels like. I don't care what everyone says I want you. I fucking love you still and I don't want that feeling to go away. Why can't love just be enough. Instead I drown in my own bitterness because I hate you for this. How could you do this? How could you just leave me? And after I write how I feel down I slowly start to cry again. And as I cry myself to sleep I beg God for one more chance... for you to just call me right then. Then in the morning I wake up happy again... as if I got you out of my system... finally. And I go another week without you, without hearing your voice. And I am happy without you. Until the next night when I decide how much I want to hate you today. And I will hate you tomorrow for everything you don't do. But for now... as of this moment. I don't love you anymore. So until next time I can't take it without you and I'm not strong enough... I'm still in love with you. | | |
| I hate the way I love you and the way you don't seem to care. I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh - even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around and the fact that you dont call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - not even close, not even a little bit.
i hate that i can't not love you
I wish that I could move on and leave you far behind. I wish I didn't have to see you running through my mind. I wish you would just figure it out and let me know whats going on. I wish you would answer the questions and stop breaking promises. I wish I didn't miss you every where i turn. I wish I didn't long for you and wish that you were here. I wish that I could go to sleep without thinking of you. I wish that I could go just tonight without dreams of you. I wish that I could wake up without thinking of you.
i wish that you will find happieness
I see you. I hear you. I smell you. I taste you. I wish you. I miss you. I kiss you. I hug you. I like you. I hate you. I do you. I move you. I walk you. I heart you. I talk you. I shock you. I dream you. I breath you. I sleep you. I make you. I break you. I sigh you. I cry you. I smile you. I laugh you. I blush you. I hope you. I faith you. I pray you. I want you. I need you. I love you.
i am you
You learn what love is once it is too late. Hold on to your dreams and be who you are. Never be afraid to dance even when someone is looking. Always tell how you feel and tell who you love that you love them... you never know what will happen tomorrow. Live each day to the fullest. You make your own luck and you make what life is. Live free. Learn all. Love loud. Find God. Find happieness in everything.
life is a lesson unlearned | | |
| Go me! I made it a whole day without you. It was hard... really hard. But I can make it through this.
Thanks to you...
... I learned what love is
... I felt what love is
... I tasted love
... I witnessed what love does
... I felt real heart ache
... I felt alone for the first time
... I lost myself
-i need to stop underestimating myself | | |
| I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I lied... I do love you and always will. I just want us to be on good terms because it makes everything a lot easier for both of us and I need things as easy as I can get them right now. I'm getting stronger. I am making it through. But still all I want to do is sit around and talk to you. As much as I don't want it to... when you call my heart still gets excited. Hearing your voice calms my nerves. I am sorry that I over reacted... thank you for helping me to understand and what you said really did help me to open my eyes and see what I have put myself in. But right now it does have to be over. Things just wont work right now. But maybe someday we will find a way. Until then... I love you. Goodbye.
-my heart is making peace... | | |
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